Things That Shaped Me: Ask My Students

Not long ago, I had a job interview where someone implied I might not be great at building relationships with students.

Fair enough. I get how I come off. I’m dry. I’m short and to the point. I’m introverted. I don’t do grand entrances. I’ve always been that way.

But if you think I can’t connect with kids—ask my students.

Coaching tennis helped me figure that out. When you’re on a court, you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, you have to be on. You have to read the situation, encourage through frustration, and know when to step in or back off. Teaching is the same. Presence matters more than performance.

Over the years, my students have taught me more than I could ever teach them. I’ve seen middle schoolers walk into class after nights of chaos at home and still manage to be kind, still find ways to work hard. I’ve had students crack jokes that stopped me mid lesson. I’ve seen creativity in unexpected forms, a side conversation that turns into a brilliant project, a single sentence that says more than a five paragraph essay.

I’ve learned to listen more and assume less. I’ve learned that just showing up day after day matters more than people realize. And I’ve learned that connection doesn’t always look like a hug or a pep talk. Sometimes it looks like a quiet nod, a sarcastic comment, or a student hanging out in your room just a little too long after the bell.

I still have the letters. The artwork. And a letter of recommendation a student typed up for my Ohio Teacher of the Year application. Not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

So yeah, am I quiet? Definitely. But don’t mistake that for disconnected.

Ask my students. I’m pretty damn good at it.